This Bong Vape Is Not Only Ridiculous, It’s Smooth as Hell
It’s a bong! It’s a vape! It’s a… bape? A vong? I dunno, man, but the Hydrology 9 produces the smoothest vapor I’ve ever tasted.
The Hydrology 9 is the first portable “liquid filtration vaporizer.” It’s roughly the size and shape of a Red Bull can, but two inches taller. The combination of brushed aluminum and glass gives it a handsome, sophisticated look. Honestly, looks like something a stoned Jony Ive would make, if he wanted to make a lightsaber to smoke weed out of.
As much as we hate the term “frankengadget” that’s sort of what this thing is, as it brings the the advantages of a bong (sorry, “waterpipe”) to the world of vaporizers. The concept of the bong—for those of you who who didn’t live in my dorm—is that the smoke passes through some water, with the primary objective being to cool the smoke down. The water does a little filtering, too. The combination makes for a smoother, less harsh hit. Vaporizing weed (which heats the bud to the point where the good stuff turns to vapor, but the nasty stuff doesn’t burn) is already way easier on your throat and lungs. Adding bong filtration makes the heat even lower, the vapor a little less dry, and everything feel incredibly smooth.
The Hyrdology 9 is chock full of smart features. At first glance I thought, “There’s no way this thing is going to be ‘portable’ once it’s filled with nasty bong water.” I was wrong. The mouthpiece has a built-in valve to make it essentially leak-proof, especially when you attach the magnetic mouthpiece cover on top of it. I tried knocking it over, flipping it, and running around with it in a backpack, and I was amazed to find that it didn’t spill a drop.
To use the vaporizer, you unscrew the mouthpiece and pour some water in until it’s roughly 70 percent full, then reattach the mouthpiece. Turn it over and unscrew the bottom compartment. That’s where you put your ground-up herb. The bowl looks small, but it’s actually very deep, which makes it pretty big for a portable vape (0.7 x 0.4 inches), and it has a clever, built-in stirrer so you can get even heating throughout your session without having to open up the chamber. You just twist the bottom piece and you’re good to go.
To start your session, you press the Hydrology 9’s one button three times quickly. Then press the button again to scroll through its five temperature settings, which is indicated by a different color lighting up the water chamber (a very nice, lava-lampy effect). Once you settle on the temperature you want, it will slowly heat up and turn green when it’s ready. You put your lips inside the mouthpiece (more like a bong than a traditional vape) and inhale, which produces the classic bong bubbling sound, and then, oh my…
As you exhale you realize you took a way bigger hit than you intended. The vapor this thing produces is so smooth you can barely feel it entering your lungs or throat. There is none of the dryness or heat I get with even the best vaporizers, even when I set the Hydrology to the highest temperature. Before you realize it, you are way more stoned than you intended to be, so I hope you don’t have anything important to do.
Actually, that’s a byproduct of one of my problems with the Hydrology 9. Its five heat settings—blue, light green, orange, purple, and red — correspond to 392F, 410F, 428F, 446F and 464F, respectively (or 200C, 210C, 220C, 230C and 240C, if you’re playing the Celsius game). 392F is really high to be the lowest setting. The Vapium Summit , for example, starts at 320 degrees F (160C). The G Pen Elite can go as low as 200 degrees. I generally like my vaping sessions around 372F, which the Hydrology 9 can’t do.
For those who are new to this, different cannabinoids vaporize at different temperatures. So if you’re vaping cooler, you will get a lighter vapor, but you’ll be leaving some of the good stuff in the bud. If you vape it hotter, then you get more of the good stuff, but you start getting more of carcinogens, too. It’s all about finding that balance point. The water filtration here lets you vape it a bit hotter without getting the smokier taste.
Getting too stoned isn’t the end of the world, but my biggest gripe might be a deal breaker for some: The Hydrology 9 is right on the upper edge of what could be reasonably called “portable.” At seven inches long and 1.75 inches in diameter, it’s certainly not going to fit into your jeans pocket. At least not without looking… odd. When I’m looking for a portable vape I’m thinking about something I can throw in a pocket and take on a hike. You’re going to need a backpack or purse for this thing. It feels more like a vape you keep at home but you don’t have to keep plugged in.
Other small gripes? It takes about a minute for it to get up to temp, which is pretty slow. Occasionally, when you’re taking a long draw, a bubble will come up and splash your lip with bong water. Now, it’s vape-bong water, so it’s not nearly as nasty as standard bong water, but it certainly isn’t ideal. Cloudious 9 (the company that makes this thing) claims that it will last roughly 15 session on a single charge. I guess that depends on what you call a session. I found that I got closer to ten. It certainly isn’t bad, but it’s not a marathoner, either.
Ultimately, the quality of the vapor this thing puts out is just so damn good that it’s impossible not to love it. The sleek and smart design helps, too. I just wish it weren’t so damn big. It costs $250 , but your throat, lungs, and taste buds will thank you.
- Smoothest, best tasting vapor I’ve ever had
- Beautiful and smart design make it unlike any other vape
- Magnetic mouthpiece cover and built-in stirrer are fantastic
- Too damn big to fit in your damn pocket
- Has a mode to make the lights strobe, which might cause you to freak out
Using a Water Pipe with Your Vaporizer
Have you ever wanted to try vaporizing your dry herbs but feel that it would be difficult to transition from smoking to vaping?
You’re not alone.
I was actually the same before I started vaping my cannabis. My passion for smoking bongs was something I thought would be hard to replicate. I simply loved bongs.
The effect you experience from vaping your herb blend is 100% more enjoyable than smoking from a bong. Switch to vaping and you can forget about ash and carcinogens, smiley-burn from your BIC, and stinky bong breath too!
Don’t despair, just because you’re picking up a healthier alternative doesn’t mean that you’ll have to throw away your expensive bong. Many vaporizers these days actually come equipped to slide right into your bong. You can easily create your very own vape bong just by adding a vaporizer!
There is already a dry herb vaporizer on the market that is literally a vape bong. The Hydrology 9 is made by Cloudious 9 and it is a cannabis vape built into a bong.
You don’t necessarily have to buy a Hydrology vaporizer, you might be able to turn your existing vaporizer into a vape bong.
Vaporizers like the Arizer Solo offer additional glass attachments that allow you to stick it into the end of any 14mm or 18mm stem. You’d be surprised at how much of a difference it makes, and you’re able to take huge hits of clean cool vapor.
Both generations of the Arizer Air and Solo are able to be used in a water pipe with the purchase of an additional 18mm or 14mm glass attachment that slots directly into the chamber like a regular aroma tube.
The functionality is actually quite similar to that of a regular waterpipe, only the bowl of plant material is being replaced by the packed aroma tube and is heated up via the chamber on your portable device.
With the Arizer Air pictured above, you simply pack your ground weed into the bottom of your aroma tube like you normally would. With the included stem caps you can prepare the chamber in advance and avoid the mess of packing the aroma tube on the go.
Once you’ve packed the aroma tube, you going to want to invert your device and carefully place the male adapter protruding from the vape carefully into the female end of your stem.
As it is a glass on glass connection, play close attention to the weight of your portable vaporizer in comparison to your water pipe. Some vaporizers like the Arizer Solo II or Flowermate V5 PRO are quite weighty owing to the inbuilt battery and are known to cause premature death among bongs.
I’m telling you now, once you’ve started using the water pipe adapter you won’t ever go back. I love vaping, but find that the narrow mouthpieces and restricted airflow limit my ability to take sizeable hits.
The water pipe attachment rectifies this entirely and allows you to pull massive hits of cool vapor through the chamber of your portable vaporizer. Just watch as your water pipe milks up like a normal bong would, release, and enjoy.
Vaporizers like the Solo II, Air II and the Flowermate V5 PRO range of vaporizers have really broad temperature ranges, even reaching as high as 240°C (464°F).
This allows you to pull super dense clouds of vapor without having to worry about what’s in the smoke. For a person that’s used to smoking from a water pipe, I can’t recommend vaping from a bong highly enough.
Canadian vape manufacturer Arizer tech has continued its pure glass theme with 14mm and 18mm all-glass water pipe adapter. However, for reasons unbeknownst to me they are yet to release an attachment that will fit the new Arizer ArGo.
The ArGo has a smaller aroma tube that isn’t compatible with either generation of the Arizer Solo or Arizer Air. Here’s hoping that the future brings a similar glass piece for the pocket-sized powerhouse.
There are more and more vapes coming out with either en included or optional bong attachment. The TopBond Novae is another vaporizer that has a bong attachment included in the kit.
Xmax sells an inexpensive attachment for its popular V2 Pro that makes this powerful vape pen compatible with your bong.
If you have a vape with a flip-out mouthpiece like the Storz and Bickel Crafty or the Xmax Starry, you can still connect them to your bong.
Xmax sells an optional accessory that attaches to vapes like the Starry, FOG, Crafty, Mighty, and many others, and at the other end, it hooks into your bong.
Flowermate created a universal 14mm & 18mm titanium adapter for use with a water pipe. This is really helpful if you’ve got a number of pieces that you’re looking to try out. Or if you’re taking the vape to a friend’s place and not sure what size their piece is.If you have passion for smoking these days you can use most portable vaporizers with a water pipe attachment to easily create a vape bong. ]]>