Unless you have access to some sort of industrial freeze-drying equipment or a good quality laboratory glove box with military grade dehumidification modifications, the best place to store cocaine is…wait for it…in your freezer! You’re thinking, “Hey, Richard, my freezer is full of frozen ice and releases a cloud of cool moist vapor whenever I open it. I don’t want my coke to get all wet and turn into a puddle of sticky mush when I cut some lines up for my friends.” Never fear!
Your freezer is actually the least humid place in your house because all the water in the air inside has been locked up solid as ice. That cloud you see when you open the door is just the cold dry air from the freezer reacting to the warm, moist air of your house. Now, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take the additional precaution of storing cocaine in a waterproof container like a Ziploc bag or even two. That way your drugs will be safe in the event of a power outage. I don’t take drugs and I strongly oppose not only drug abuse but recreational drug use of all kinds. But if you do take drugs and are looking for the best place to store your cocaine, the freezer is definitely the way to go! Now that marijuana is a legal substance to consume for recreational purposes in Canada, and much of the western world, Canadians seem to have infinite options for weed accessories to choose from. Smoking device companies are being less discreet with their advertising and product placement, making it easy for someone like me, to get my hands on something as epic as a gas mask bong.
In case you don’t know what a gas mask bong is, I will give you a quick rundown of the basics before letting you in on how it all went down. Most versions of gas mask bongs don’t look too different than a typical water bong, with the most important difference being a mask that is attached by the mouth to the mouthpiece of a bong. This is necessary to create a seal so that the smoke doesn’t escape through gaping openings around the water bong stem. The mask attached is also more rubbery than a traditional gas mask to seal against the edges of your face in a much more comfortable way. Using a gas mask bong is fairly straightforward and requires little to no prior experience. The only critical components are not being claustrophobic, and basic knowledge of how to function a water bong. Before you begin, I highly recommend that you remove any jewelry, including earrings or facial piercings because they will get tugged on as you situate the mask. To start, you will need to open the gas mask bong box and flatten it out to get a good look at all the pieces. Before it is filled with water and attached to your face being used. Fill the water chamber in the bong portion of the contraption approximately ½ of the way full. Pre-Grind whatever weed you are going to try to smoke through it now and set it aside in an easy to reach the place. Pull the mask over the top of your head, until it covers your entire face. Now gently tug at all the rubber edges to ensure they are lying flat. This will create a necessary seal around your face. If you see bubbles begin to form in the water bong, then you should be good to go. I’d recommend less than halfway for the first time; in case it gets to be too much, and you must take it off in a hurry. Light the bowl using a lighter and take a deep inhale. Exhale the smoke inside of the mask and go back for as much as you can handle after that. Once finished, wipe the rubber of the gas mask bong with a towel, empty the chamber, and store in a dry place until it’s needed again. At first, it was sort of awkward to get comfortable with the rubber, but I will admit that I am slightly claustrophobic so in the end I was happy with how easy it was to get on. A good visual of a full bowl and I was ready to go, so I sparked it up and took a good long haul. All went swimmingly until I needed to take a breath in to take a second hit. My eyes began to water, my heart began to race, and I could feel the beads of sweat building up around the rubber on the sides of my cheeks. I survived three hits before needing to come out for air. By the time I was finished, not only was I so much higher than normal, but I also felt like my eyes were stoned.
A nice warm fuzzy feeling that was unique to this smoking experience. Though I wouldn’t recommend anyone try to smoke out of a gas mask bong full time, for the occasional super intense high it’s a great tool that should be in every stoner’s arsenal. Just be aware, especially if you have a limited lung capacity, that this device does impact breathing while it’s on, so if you ever feel the need to remove it, don’t be afraid to.
Other than that, it’s an amazing invention that I get out now to show all of my cannabis enthusiast friends. One of the new ways to smoke weed is really taking the marijuana world by storm.