All of these methods might seem on some level adequate, but all will fail if the person is patted down when entering the screening room. So what are some successful methods people use to pull off subbing? Taping the sample to your torso - In particular, we mean taping a flat container to your body directly above your penis or vagina.
Make sure you're wearing loose pants so the sample can't be seen and rest easy knowing no one is going to pat you down too vigorously in the crotch area. Swimming trunks - Many styles of swimming trunks have mesh pockets sewn into the inside of the trunks. In many cases, these inside pockets are located in close proximity to your reproductive organ. If your sample is in a nice, flat container sliding it into the inner pocket of the swimming trunks will often allow you to pass both a visual exam and a pat-down, since few patters are going to want to get too close to your business. The leg strap - There are a number of companies today that sell Velcro straps that wrap firmly around the leg and include a small pocket in which to conceal a sample. While this method will likely work if the tester doesn’t pat you down it can be extremely uncomfortable with the sample rubbing up against the inside of the opposite leg. Concealing the sample in your rectum - This is a method drug mules use all the time, and it can be quite successful. It also ensures the sample will be the right temperature.
Of course, for this method to work, there must be no one else in the restroom with you when you retrieve the sample. And you need to be able to retrieve it quickly, or else the amount of time you're spending in the restroom is likely to raise red flags with your screeners. Also, once it's empty, you're going to have to shove that vial back where the sun doesn’t shine when you're done. Yes, your read that right and no, it doesn’t have anything to do with a monkey’s dong or anything of that sort. What it is is a urination device that works for both men and women that you whip out of your trousers instead of your own. There’s a wide band that goes around the lower portion of your waist that has a flat pouch for fake urine and a tube that runs from the pouch out through the fake penis (or tube for women). If you’re in a restroom with the man standing there watching you just whip out the Monkey Dong/Whizz, deposit your fake sample into the cup, shake a few times for realism and zip up. The Monkey Dong or Monkey Whizz comes with its own fake urine sample, so you don't have to worry about procuring a sample from someone else, and it will stand up to the pat down every time. The only thing to be wary of when it comes to the Monkey Dong or Monkey Whizz is making sure it's attached properly and making sure that your motion is realistic when you whip it out to provide your sample. This just means, however, is that you'll need to practice a bit until it becomes second nature. If you're a dude, you'll also need to make sure your real penis is secured safely out of the way so that two penises don't come spilling out of your pants when you go to make your deposit. Hopefully we don't have to remind you that trying to circumvent a drug check will put you in violation of your terms of employment and may even result in criminal charges being brought against you if you are caught. The wisest course of action is always to not use in the first place, so you don't have to come up with ways to get around drug testing. Lisa is a content writer, blogger, and entrepreneur. When she is not managing her business, Colonial Stores, Lisa spends most of her time researching about synthetic urine products to review. She loves sharing her learnings in a form of blogging that’s why she built a website to connect with many people. This article was co-authored by our trained team of editors and researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness. wikiHow's Content Management Team carefully monitors the work from our editorial staff to ensure that each article is backed by trusted research and meets our high quality standards. wikiHow marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. In this case, several readers have written to tell us that this article was helpful to them, earning it our reader-approved status. If you want to smoke out of a bong but you don't have one around, don't fret.
You can make your own out of a water bottle using a few simple tools. Just make sure you're using it in a place where smoking is legal. When you feel like smoking, odds are that you reach for your pipe, bong or other smoking apparatus. Unfortunately, those tools may not always be handy. Whether you’re away from home, accidentally left your pipe at a friend’s house or are even between pipes at the moment, realizing you don’t have a way to smoke can be frustrating indeed. Smokers are known for their ingenuity, and most will tell you that you can get by in a pinch by making a simple water bottle bong. If you’re curious about how to make a water bottle bong, you’re in luck.
It’s really easy, and the steps for doing so are outlined for your convenience below. Chances are that you already have everything you’ll need to make a water bottle bong. That’s the main reason people resort to making such bongs when they don’t have pipes or regular bongs handy.