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Indeed, if sharpening one’s skills to go up against hardened competitive drinkers of hearty German stock, there’s not a lot more a person can ask for than power-chugs against some 19-year-old ass-wipe with a pink liver. A lively, raucous, liquor-soaked celebration of alcoholic excess, the house party blessed by the Wolfhouse crew became exponentially cooler with their arrival. Not only were there fierce drinking games, a seemingly never-ending supply of booze, a care-free vibe, and a full-blown boxing match tailored by the wedding outfits of the absent hosts, the fucking cops had to come in to break the thing up it was so damn wild.

Risky Business may have had high-end whores and a fancier venue, but the kids who attended the Wolfhouse-crashed party likely would have spoken about it for decades. For one night, those college pukes got to share quality boozin’ time with seasoned professionals, nay, soon to be world champions. While another Broken Lizard film, Super Troopers , also had a pretty hopping and impromptu house party near its end, the level of debauchery and extended period of time committed to the vignette in Beerfest gave this bash the edge. Almost Famous (2000) God help me, I hate this movie. It’s enough to drive one insane, watching as people, nay, valued friends with trusted opinions all declare their love and admiration for an air-brushed romp down memory lane. The characters in Almost Famous were so laughably one-dimensional and translucent that, at times, it made one wonder if they weren’t simply cardboard cut-outs propped up in front of the camera. The people who give this movie credit for being deep make me sad: like in the way you’re sad for children who will one day discover the myth of Santa Claus. What was so surprising about the journey of William ( Patrick Fugit ), a teenager from the suburbs who was shocked by the excess and callous indifference of famous rock stars? Which is all aside from the fact that this movie was supposed to be about rock and roll, and the 1970s, yet it spoke to a narrow sub-section of society that lived a privileged life so far outside the norm that only a handful of people could possibly have related to the events portrayed.

Jesus, how many people got a chance to meet their rock-god idols, and go on tour with them? As interesting a concept as that is for a movie, it was hardly relatable, and, again, far from original in its message (mainly that fame is an empty sham). The story of a kid learning the hard way that one’s heroes are rarely what they’re cracked up to be, and that groupies are unrepentant whores? Who needed a new movie to get that state secret out? And this might have been worth the trip to the cinema had Almost Famous at least had the convictions to finish what it started! William, his mother, and sister all reconciled at the end, the famous rock star ( Billy Crudup ’s Russell) did the right thing and sacrificed his career for some punk nobody, and everybody lived happily ever after. That IS how everything worked out for America in the 70s. Yeah, I guess Almost Famous had a pretty good one, what with a bunch of kids in the suburbs finding a famous rock guitarist at their doorstep, looking to drop acid and make speeches to the wide-eyed masses from the rooftops. (1994) This one’s ranking does not appropriately honor the size, scope, or quality of the party that took place near the end of P.C.U. , something that says more about the company it keeps today than of the quality of the film or its house party, per say. In the film, Jeremy Piven ’s Droz and his collection of college miscreants in “The Pit” needed to raise money to pay an outrageous (though largely valid) damage bill that their antics had run up at Port Chester University. Though not a fraternity in name, Droz and the gang represented part of what remained of Port Chester’s forcibly retired Greek system. While Droz and his cronies enjoyed the luxury of living and partying in their Frat’s former house (The Pit), a right-wing splinter cell of their order lived in exile, and plotted a return to their former home. David Spade played Rand, the leader of this expelled group of Reaganite scum, and it was Rand who worked with the evil, fun-hating school Dean to make a case to have Droz and his cohorts evicted from The Pit. So as to raise the funds needed to pay the damage bill, Droz coordinated a party to save the day. When that failed, the man personally took it upon himself to see the damn thing through. This meant “borrowing” a car, stealing two kegs, hijacking a full bar, torpedoing a protest, halting a riot, and booking George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic to play a set. The results were not simply impressive: they were immortal. For one night, all the rival factions of Port Chester’s various human and civil rights groups got together in the name of fun and funk, and for what looked like half an hour or so, there seemed to be one hell of a party. (Shit, Naked Guy was even there!) Had the bash gone on a bit longer, and not charged for use of the bathroom, it might have snuck by this next house party, one that has gone down in movie history … 3. Animal House (1978) Back in the day, when godly titans like John Belushi were still alive, by jove, people partied. Not just that, they made epic, landscape altering films about partying that elevated not just the cinematic genre, but also the very medium of merry-making to a whole new level.

The astonishing influence Animal House had on the world in the years following its release speak to the hedonistic impulses living inside all human beings, since the days of Dionysius and before. The film’s leads, young adults wise in the ways of hard, liver-punishing collegiate excess, knew that they were on double-secret probation, and that their balls were within inches of striking the buzz-saw.

Their plans to cheat on an upcoming psychology test foiled, they did what any life-loving frat boy would do: they threw a toga party! Sneering at convention, the boys of Delta Tau Chi threw one of the wildest, loudest, chick-heavy parties the college world has ever known, and the world remembered them for it. Fueled by the cutting-edge rock and roll majesty of Otis Day and the Knights , the Deltas threw a party so red hot it’s hard to imagine anybody got away without getting laid. Truth be told, there was enough evidence to support that most prospered in just such a regard.


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