I mean, who just hands someone a joint laced with anything without a heads up? For years, I had heard rumors of a desperate class of white trash maniac smoking marijuana drenched in embalming fluid – a brutal drug combination known on the street as wet, sherm and Hillbilly PCP --- but never in my life had I ever been in the vicinity of the junk, much less in a position where I unwittingly filled my lungs with it. I was convinced – one hundred percent -- that I was going to seize up and die. I remember thinking for a split second that at least my family would save a few bucks on the funeral, seeing as I was about to be carted off to the undertaker already fully preserved and ready for burial. It was scary as hell if I’m being honest, and what made it even worse is I didn’t know how the situation was going to pan out.
This drug has been known to have some rather gnarly consequences, so would I lose my mind, hurt myself or just croak? In retrospect, I noticed the buzz from the corpse joint was OFF just seconds after I exhaled the first trail of smoke. I guess due to my lack of experience with drugs, at the time, I thought that maybe we were just toking on some bizarre, new strain of homegrown weed that was intended to mimic a snakebite or something. Like the fangs of a rattlesnake sank into my ankle while I was hitting the joint causing the venom and THC to lock horns inside a vicious territory war. It didn’t take long before my body slumped into a deep state of paralysis and fear. My heart rate was erratic and I couldn’t breathe properly, and then my veins started to come alive. They felt like they were constricting, yet they were bulging out of my arms in a way that sort of resembled Iggy Pop’s post-heroin physique. There was a moment when I hoped – Hell, I may have even prayed -- that my circulatory system would just pop out of my skin, wrap around my neck and put me out of my misery.
2020 Presidential Betting Odds Favor Biden Over Trump For First Time. Black Cannabis Entrepreneurs: Cut Marijuana Taxes, Defund The Police. Throughout the entire twisted nightmare, my whole body just kept getting thicker and heavier until there was nothing left to do but just go with it and hope for the best. I’ll save the rest of the chilling details for the book. But I wanted to share with you this snippet from my turbid past because, as insane as it may sound, sometimes drug dealers put some pretty rotten stuff in marijuana. They do this, not to be super sneaky or teeter on some sociopathic journey into the grips of an attempted murder charge, but in hopes of selling the dope culture a new and exciting high that it has never felt before. Not only has cannabis been laced with embalming fluid in the past, but drugs like cocaine, meth and LSD have all been known to show up in the shotgun seat of a hooter from time to time. Sometimes it feels good to slow down, sometimes it feels better to go fast, but the effects in tandem can be something extraordinary. It is a wild trend that has been going on for decades, and, unfortunately, it still is happening to this day. Some reports indicate that formaldehyde-laced marijuana is making a resurgence in the United States, yet I’m not so sure it ever went away in some parts. In the Midwest, especially, drug dealers have managed to keep some rather interesting drug concoctions alive while also working on dangerous new mixtures (bug-spay marijuana) that are destined to wilt the brains of those who try them. One of the latest and perhaps the most dangerous drug combination coming onto the scene could be marijuana-laced with fentanyl – a powerful opioid responsible for nearly 30 percent of the nation’s overdose deaths. I know, I know, hold up – we’ve been reading articles suggesting that all of the horror stories about marijuana tainted with fentanyl is just the product of misinformation and lies, lies, lies. Well, it might be, or at least it started out that way. But there now appears to be at least one instance where marijuana has tested positive for this savage opioid. “With fentanyl-laced marijuana now confirmed to be in New York state, I am extremely concerned for the safety of anyone using marijuana," Oneida County Sheriff Robert Maciol told the Oneida Daily Dispatch. "Everyone needs to be aware that the potential of getting fentanyl-laced marijuana is possible and the side effects can be deadly. We have seen the tragic results of what heroin and fentanyl mixed together can do and I fear for what will be happening now that it’s being mixed into marijuana." It should be pointed out, however, that some reports of fentanyl-laced marijuana (and other drugs for that matter) have been discounted in the past. Law enforcement just has a way of speaking too soon when it comes to the details of illegal drug seizures. In many cases, not all of the variables are taken into account before a spokesman for the department starts talking to the media. It’s one of the primary reasons misinformation about weird drugs starts to spread so rapidly in this day and age. “There’s this mistaken belief that law enforcement are experts on the drugs they are seizing,” Northeastern University drug policy expert Leo Beletsky told BuzzFeed News. “That’s just not the case, and that’s part of the problem.” But whether or not the latest report of fentanyl-laced weed is fake news, as many in the cannabis advocacy community would have the public believe, or just another blunder by the boys in blue is not the basis of this column in particular. You can get all of that “Nuh-Uh, Weed is Always Fentanyl Free” crap from any number of cannabis publications out there currently running damage control right now on the subject.
This piece, for better or worse, is intended to drive home the fact that while fentanyl-laced marijuana may not be as prominent as some law enforcement officials claim, it is certainly possible that this drug mixture exists. After all, we have definitive evidence (some of us more than others) that black market dealers are still soaking marijuana in embalming fluid and even fortifying it with cocaine and opioids like heroin, so what is it about fentanyl and marijuana that seems so impossible?
But here’s the thing: It is not likely that marijuana is being produced with fentanyl content for distribution to an unsuspecting public. It is also possible that all of the false reports surrounding marijuana and fentanyl (and there have been a few) have inspired some cut-rate dealer (or dealers) to make the drug combination a reality and this is where the danger now begins. We have no way of knowing the whole truth at this time. All we know for sure is that fentanyl-laced marijuana doesn’t appear to be a widespread problem in this country. Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) has said that the death toll from drug overdoses would be much more apocalyptic if this specific drug combo were a real concern.