acid artist

Andy being Andy found this far too amusing, and it became his own little joke. No one was spared - everyone in the hall had to know that his pet tiger had an anus, and that Andy liked to finger said anus over and over. I came back to my room one afternoon after having a shitty day. I slumped down on my bed and saw, out of the corner of my eye, Quba laying on ground. I figured, what at the heck, maybe this thing will cheer me up.

At this point I just wanted something to punch to relieve some stress. I unzipped my pants, pulled out my schlong and stuffed it into Quba's anus. The foam felt surprisingly nice as it surrounded my dick. At this point, I knew Andy was at lacrosse practice and wouldn't be back for a while, so I had nothing holding me back from just pumping away into this poor stuffed animal. It actually started feeling really good after a while, too good. He had unlocked the door faster than I could stuff my sticky, foam covered 16 year old shlong back into my pants. His horrified face is burned into my mind to this day. Andy then proceeded to rip a gigantic fart for at least 15 seconds.

I guess it was a blessing in disguise to have a weird roommate because I'm pretty sure if it was anyone else, my high school social life would have been shat on. Many years ago my wife and I used to live in a small cluster of apartments. This couple that lived across the parking lot from us went on vacation and asked my wife if she would collect their mail and feed their cats. One day my wife calls me from work telling me that she forgot to feed the neighbors cats that morning. Little did I know there were special instructions when it came to feeding the cats. The thing was that you couldn't just feed the cats. One of the cats was old and fat and had special food. You physically had to put the fat fucker on the kitchen counter, give him his food, and keep the other cat away. Of course when I get over there standard size cat is sitting there waiting for his food but fatty is nowhere to be seen. As I'm pulling him out from under the bed I see a video tape. But I figure I'll be a nice guy and leave it alone. Next morning my wife gets called into work early (I worked evenings so I was home alone most of the day). She asks me if I can feed the cats again since she was in a hurry. So I go back over and sure enough fat-cat is under the bed again. Curiosity gets the best of me and I go and get the video tape from under the bed. I put it in the neighbor's VCR and sure enough it's footage of neighbor guy getting a beej from neighbor gal. Now I guess I should say that neighbor guy was about 35 and average looking. Neighbor lady was about 30 and pretty decent looking. Very toned and firm (although her boobs were very small). I decided to rewind the tape and watch it from the beginning. I hustle back over to our apartment and grab our video camera (old school, full size VHS) and a blank tape of my own. I put the camera in a shopping bag just so it wasn't obvious (nobody saw me anyway). Back at the neighbors I hook up our camera to their VCR and dubbed the tape. The first was the neighbors doing this and that for about 10 minutes on their couch. The next was them in bed with the camera at a slightly better angle but couldn't really see much.

The final and longest segment was pretty impressive. Most of it was POV with both of them taking turns holding the camera. Needless to say I hid the fuck out of that tape and only took it out when my wife was gone. I "used" it many, many times over the next few months. Every time I saw or spoke to neighbor lady all I could think of was "she likes it really hard up the ass". I was paranoid about packing the tape with other moving stuff. One night I waited until my wife was asleep and took the tape out. Then I took all the pieces and put them in a garbage bag with a bunch of newspapers. I threw it all away in a dumpster at another apartment complex.

Epilogue: About 2 years later I was driving to a buddy's house. About 3 streets away from his house I see neighbor lady working in yard at a house they had moved into. When i was around 13, we were visiting Rome and decided to stop off at the Vatican city. From the top of the main building, you can look down onto the other balconies and for 10 straight minutes I stared down a girls shirt then proceeded to beat my meat in the bathroom that was up there. The single thought of how much this girl loved dick always drove me wild.

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